Nearing the end of treatment....

The main reason I started this blog and my juicing page on Facebook was to try help people going through treatment for cancer , and to maybe give them some tips on what helped me through and what eventually helped to get me back to me , a much healthier, happier me! This next blog is about coming towards the end of my treatment...... 

Chemo number 3 came and went I was half way through ..... I was weaker and sicker than I'd ever been and I knew it was about to get a whole lot worse ! 

As I've said before with each chemo I felt worse, with each treatment I was getting weaker and was losing the fight within me, the further into to treatment the less and less I felt like myself! The more and more I felt like giving up.  

For those that have never been in a chemo room..... It's wierdly welcoming and relaxing !!! I knew when I walked into the room everyone in there was feeling how I was feeling ( or near enough to!!) I also knew that I could stick on a box set on my mini DVD player ( bought for me by my baby brother , I knew I was ill when he bought me a gift of a mini. DVD player when it wasn't my bday!!! There was no Netflix when I was dignosed so thank god for my sisters friend Cath who sent me over some amazing box sets !)any worries or fears I had , someone always had an answer to them

In that room. It was like a secret club that none of us wanted to be members of. And all any of us wanted was our health back. I found  that room full of people a huge support. 

So I was getting through it scans showed that my cancer was responding well to treatment . I felt like crap but it was working. I knew as well as the juicing I needed to start getting out into the fresh air and get some excercise . So I started walking anywhere and everywhere even when I felt crap and like not moving I would drag myself out as I knew I would always come back feeling better than when I started. 

Nothing could have prepared me for the toll the Chemo eventually took on my body and mind I was beyond exhausted and feeling so so low. 

Then came my final treatment I was filled with anxiety ... Had it worked ? .... The hospital had become my crutch I felt normal when I was there the same as everyone else! At home I was the sick person that everyone was worried about . I was worried that I would feel a bit lost not being a patient and having the support of the nurses ! So weird I know! Of course I wanted to be home with my family , but in hospital I felt safe if something was to go wrong they would fix it ! 

Thank god for my Mum as no matter how I felt , everyday she would get me up pump me with a juice and drag me out the door! And with Michael and his lovely family around I never had to worry about Benzo as I knew he was so so well loved and looked after. And the lovely Chreche Ben was in at the time, Puddleducks , were so good to us. When the chips are down you realise how important family and friends are and during that time myself and Michael would have been lost without them. I was never alone in hospital either, one of my sisters or brother or sis in law were always with me I think they must have worked out a roster!! Our little family was being well looked after. So all I had to do was get better!!! 

October 2nd 2008 was here and today was the day I was determined to get my results ... We had been waiting for a call in the days previous to see had my treatment worked but I was sick of waiting . I decided that morning I would stalk them with constant phone calls until they had to tell me . Prof Crown had a lovely doc working for him at the time called Tamir ( not sure that's how he spells it!) . We all fell in love with him he was so so good to me and my family whilst I was an in patient in St Vincent's. And he gave me and my sisters many laughs . That day after a lot of calling prof crowns office , I was finally put through to Tamir , I asked him were my results back, they were, I think k he probably wanted me to wait for my next appointment with professor Crown to get those results but I begged!!! I waved at mum in the kitchen and we both stood in the conservatory and held our breath .....Mum held my hand...... We waited and prayed for good news...... And we got it !!!!! My cancer had gone into remission . I didn't quite believe it I smiled at mom and nodded ...... It was the first time during my whole treatment that I saw my mum cry ( I know she cried when I wasn't around but never in front of me in front of me she was always strong) we hugged each other and bawled!!!!  It is a moment I will never forget. Eventually we got ourselves together and I called Michael , needless to say he was overjoyed but like me questioned it .... Were they sure ? Should we wait to hear from Prof Crown to confirm? But no we decided let's take this good news and celebrate!! Myself and mum spent the next hour calling everyone we knew to tell them our good news. 

 

My cancer was in remission and I was going to do everything in my power to keep it that way!